Shrek's Greatest Adventure
by juicyonion
Summary: Join Shrek in his greatest adventure yet!


The twelve-year-old-boy had abusive parents. He was made fun of for being a different race. The poor boy had no friends, he was bullied every day. One day, they told him that he had a small dick. He had to prove that his dick was beautiful, luxurious, magnificent! He whipped it out, and- He forgot. He was asian. He cried and ran away. People called him so many rude names, and they weren't even clever. They even snapped a picture of his dick and posted it on Instagram. I, myself have a fetish for small asian dick, so I jerked off to it several times.

So you're probably wondering,

"Ok, what does that have to do with our hot lord and savior, Shrek? Why are you telling me this? Can I please have that dick pic?"

Well, it has a lot to do with Shrek. Shrek was his favorite movie. He watched the whole

"Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life," quadrilogy, but he was confused, because it just didn't make sense. But of course, he didn't mind, much like myself, he jerked off to it several times.

Anyways, he was going to cut off his dick. (Mainly because I asked him to and put it in a box and send it to my beach house) But, as he was on his balcony, scissors in hand, he heard someone come in. It was Shrek. Sonic was there too, groping his ass, but he had to go. He had to go fast. He crawled up the boy's ass and stayed there. Later on he would lay eggs inside him.

It was the perfect setup for him. This is what he dreamed of. Hiccup and Elsa were making out under his pillow, and Shrek was there. Waiting. Waiting for his sweet sperm prince.

"What's wrong, boy?" Shrek said with his rough scottish accent.

"My dick-" the boy stopped to look inside his pants. Shit. He crapped himself.

"My dick is small. Do I even deserve one?"

"It's ok. I'll make it better." Shrek put up all ten of his beautiful slippery sausage fingers and the kid grew a twenty-one-foot-long asian penis.

Shrek whispered in his ear,

"Your swamp, or miiiinnneee?"

Without the boy answering, Shrek threw him across the bed passionately, interrupting Elsa and Hiccup's sweet sweet sex. Shrek shoved his tongue down the boy's throat. He ejected his ginormous dick into Shrek.

But all good things have to end. The dick was stuck. Luckily, Sky was on butter patrol and buttered up the asian cock, nice and slippery, but it wouldn't help.

"Boy,"

The young boy replied,

"Yes, Shrek."

"I think. I-I think."

"WHAT SHREK, WHAT?! D:"

"It's all ogre now."

Shrek faded into dust.

Zombies got the asian dick and ate it. There was sperm everywhere, but it's ok, my mom told me that a dick can grow back. Sky was balling his eyes out into a bowl of ramen taco soup. Hiccup and Elsa made a baby gurl and raped it in remembrance of Shrek. Sonic laid eggs in the asian's stomach and gave birth to Wreck-it-Ralph which is my favorite movie because it has Sonic in it, but I don't really understand it because I'm nine. The babies called the asian boy Felipe. Sonic and the Ralph babies flew off with Pedro to Neverland. Spiderman and Master Chief told all of them to go on an epic quest. The quest to find Mario's hat. They jumped into the volcano to see that Bowser has kidnapped Luigi who stole Mario's hat. They fought Bowser until they all got knocked in the crotch all the way back to the Mushroom Kingdom.

"What do we do now?" Felipe asked.

They all stood around the fire meditating about Shia Labeouf. Soon, an image of Master Chief hovered above the fire, like in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

"My sexy son-in-laws, you must hurry to get the Mario hat you bitches," Master Chief said.

"But master chief, before we do that, I have to do some sweet hooba," Sonic replied.

Master Chief had important news to say.

"I am your father."

"No." Pedro said.

"K bai," Master Chief said as he was leaving.

The next day was sunny and crisp, like my grandma on crack. The heroes left the Mushroom Kingdom and went back to Neverland. With Master Chief's great advice, they stopped Bowser and fucked Luigi's bitch. They then rode the magic carpet back to Pedro's house.

"You know Pedro," the Ralph babies said, "Shrek would've been proud."

Pedro was speechless, so he finally replied.

"K."

Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life.


End file.
